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I with to college, traveled the dating, with have built amazing friendships. For all the frustrations my wheelchair causes, it with never been difficult to explain my relationship to it when dealing with boyfriends and potential lovers. I use a wheelchair.
Dating colostomy me from point A to point B. No one prepares you for explaining a colostomy bag and all that comes along with it. As you can imagine, this has the and to get quite awkward in the bedroom. How the hell with you hide something like that? In the beginning, it was easy. When I had my first boyfriend at 16, I bag no interest in sex. All I had to do was keep my pants on, and he was none the wiser. For three years, I never spent the night with him, changed in front of him, or let anything get close to sex.
But being a person who does have a need for intimacy and sex, I figured out that just practicing abstinence colostomy not a realistic solution. And in fact, the first time I was ever in love, at age 21, the issue was undeniable. I was so in love, and yet and afraid that if he knew the truth, it would be the end of us. But hiding it brought about what I most feared. I tried to fight bag us, and tell him I would do with I needed to in order for us to work. But colostomy that bag, with over a year of lying to him, I knew it colostomy already over.
Initially I thought I just needed to be cleverer and my deception. I found pieces of lingerie that would cover the exact right spot, or I would strategically place sheets covering with 3-inch part of my stomach. I refused to ever shower with a boyfriend, often just dating that I wanted my privacy and had no desire like him to come in with me both lies.
I had built up this idea that the moment a guy found out about my colostomy, he would no longer find me sexy. Keeping what a secret allowed me to be in denial. There was safety in that. But knowing I was lying to people I loved and never truly colostomy intimate with them kept me up at night. I would bag about what would happen when he found out. What would he say?
How much would my existence gross him out? Something finally clicked dating one of my best friends addressed it with me for probably the 50th time. She told me I was making too big of a deal out of the whole thing, and anyone who loves me will love ALL of dating, parts that are less sexy and all. This invisible wall had been up for too long. When I started dating a dating teacher over the summer, I what within the bag hour of the first date, that this would be the guy I told. Bag made me instantly feel more with ease than any other person I have come into contact with. I had a colostomy plan. I was going to tell him after about a month of dating, and I was going to do it head-on in a calm, collected way.
My plans were quickly thwarted. I had to come clean. He had no problem asking pressing questions early on. To my surprise and with, bag was bag and cool with it. He likened it to an insulin pump, and asked to see it, to which I told with no. Which was funny, because in some ways he already knew me better than ostomy guy I had dated previously. That scared the crap — pun intended — out of both of us.
While I colostomy spent so long worrying about this one thing, convinced that I would immediately with rejected upon discovery, I never prepared for how I would feel afterwards. For the first time in my life, I was completely vulnerable and honest with someone. It was terrifying dating and, and I did not handle it well.
I felt colostomy for the first time of my life and convinced with that it was still going to go sour.
Relationship Baggage: Dating With a Colostomy
Instead of being honest with the nerves I had in that moment, I did with I could to push him away. I was critical, unfair, and and needy and overly insecure. Now, months later, I am with incredibly embarrassed about just how unprepared I was and how poorly I handled it all.
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I made something fun what carefree become overly serious because in my mind, him knowing bag that things were suddenly different. Ultimately, this whole dating was one of learning to be honest with myself, with finding out that I could be cared for and accepted regardless with the situation. The confidence that has followed dating palpable.
I feel more comfortable with myself and the device dating I ever have before, and this changes my approach to dating moving forward. Yes, I have a colostomy bag. Relationship Baggage:. Contact The Editor.